Hello? Can anyone hear me? Is this thing on?

I was sharing a story with our youngest daughter. She and her older sister are on a speech and debate team at the high school (secondary school) level. She was struggling with a fellow team member to the degree of high frustration.

It reminded me of how leadership is about influencing others to act or think a certain way.

I auditioned for in high school (secondary school) and was accepted into both the choir and chamber group. I was one of four or five second-year students to gain entry to the chamber group.

First, the normal invitation to join the chamber group was as a third-year or fourth-year student.

Second, the natural progression was from a junior choir to the main choir to the chamber group.

Finally, based on demonstrated progression, the student received the audition invitation.

For me, that wasn’t the case. My situation was highly unusual. I played piano and cello in elementary and middle schools (primary school). Occasionally, I sang in the church choir.

More bluntly, I was accepted into a group based on an audition with zero social credibility and influence.

Our daughter was feeling a similar lack of credibility and influence. She wanted to throw in the towel, so to speak.

I threw in the towel, I quit the chamber group and choir in the middle of my third year.

I regret my choice today as I took the easy way out of social pressure. In sharing that with our daughter it reminded me of how leaders feel at times.

Is this thing on?

The Navy’s promotion system worked well to provide enlisted leaders with credibility and influence at the senior level. As a chief petty officer, many would be transferred in the weeks and month following their “pinning”.

Pinning is the event when a Navy member receives the collar devices denoting a new paygrade. Often, this was several months before being paid at the new level.

When a chief transferred, he or she joined a new command with built-in credibility and influence. To be clear, this action is based on tradition as much as an understanding of familiarity.

People who are familiar or unfamiliar will treat leaders or new team members as a potential threat until proven otherwise.

Objectively, our brains are wired this way. We don’t like change. As a result, we get jealous of people who are elevated into authority or who are given greater influence.

If you can’t get a transfer to a new team, how do you gain credibility and influence?

For me, it’s about working with positive intent. Expressly, pursue the team relationships with openness and curiosity.

For this reason, we’ve been given two ears and one mouth. We need to listen with the intent to understand other people.